Buhtt sex?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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