god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
