I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
