Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
birth control should be required to get into college
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
