You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
