why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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