Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
wow bdsm is so cute
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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