Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
