singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
