No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
