so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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