Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i drank out of a bidet.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize