Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
