He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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