I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
