i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
jump out the window naked night went bad
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