you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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