Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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