Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
