My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize