I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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