you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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