wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
