the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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