Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
