I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
