how can u be prego again
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
