exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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