some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
