Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
