Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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