I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
