I've blown a few things in my day
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
