So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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