It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
