i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
