Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
