we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
