So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
