I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
