I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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