I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
