Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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