Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
