As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You are a genius and a whore.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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