we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Everything about him screamed your future.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
