Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
