have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize