she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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