I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
