So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
