Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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