I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just blew my weed a kiss
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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