legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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