OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just had sex bonerless
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
