FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
