If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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