My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
