We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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