Yo dont text me then not text me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
