The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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