I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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