My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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