Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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