we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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