If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
