im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
